A hot tale by Porridge Marten, the chronicler of The Song Of Lice and Liar
Palydynne the Pyromancer sent his minions throughout the SevenEleven Kingdoms and beyond to Esso and elsewhere to demonstrate his “surefire wyldfyre.” His motto on his merchant’s card was “Have Fyre Will Expire.” Typically he’d order his men to set off his red rockets containing the liquid fire without prior notice, and then leave his calling card at the castle gate should the lord or royal leader care to pay for his weapons and services.
No doubt most sovereigns might be impressed by his display and recognize wyldfyre’s value against war galley squadrons and troop transports and the galley rowers and soldiers within these wooden vessels. “The best alternative to dragon’s breath,” as Palydynne loved to say.
Early spring the Pyromancer’s demonstrators set forth and made their appearance all over Westeroids and Esso. Hywind Landblaster was annoyed and had the man boiled alive in the concoction. Stainless Brightneon’s witch Malusundra said it was a sign from her god, but Stainless scoffed at it since her god had failed him in the last invasion. Rohbheart Brightneon, however, found it useful for charbroiling a large number of cattle for his nightly feasts all at once. When Dimheiress Tarfeatheren witnessed the red rocket in the night, she believed it was an inferior attempt to match the fire of her dragons, or “my three little buggers” as she referred to them. Dullard Starkcrazy and Moose Boltloose purchased some to heat their wintry castles. Johnny Snowed laughed when the demonstrator couldn’t get the wyldfyre lit in the windy cold and snow.
But others did find its original purpose valuable and contacted Palydynne to arm their war galley squadrons with the dangerous wyldfyre.