A medieval campaign using my proposed RRtK supplement

Posts tagged ‘Game of Thrones Parody: War Game’

The Smash of Things (Prologue: Year 2)

English: Fireworks

English: Fireworks (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A hot tale by Porridge Marten, the chronicler of The Song Of Lice and Liar

Palydynne the Pyromancer sent his minions throughout the SevenEleven Kingdoms and beyond to Esso and elsewhere to demonstrate his “surefire wyldfyre.” His motto on his merchant’s card was “Have Fyre Will Expire.”  Typically he’d order his men to set off his red rockets containing the liquid fire without prior notice, and then leave his calling card at the castle gate should the lord or royal leader care to pay for his weapons and services.

No doubt most sovereigns might be impressed by his display and recognize wyldfyre’s value against war galley squadrons and troop transports and the galley rowers and soldiers within these wooden vessels. “The best alternative to dragon’s breath,” as Palydynne loved to say.

Early spring the Pyromancer’s demonstrators set forth and made their appearance all over Westeroids and Esso. Hywind Landblaster was annoyed and had the man boiled alive in the concoction. Stainless Brightneon’s witch Malusundra said it was a sign from her god, but Stainless scoffed at it since her god had failed him in the last invasion. Rohbheart Brightneon, however, found it useful for charbroiling a large number of cattle for his nightly feasts all at once. When Dimheiress Tarfeatheren witnessed the red rocket in the night, she believed it was an inferior attempt to match the fire of her dragons, or “my three little buggers” as she referred to them. Dullard Starkcrazy and Moose Boltloose purchased some to heat their wintry castles. Johnny Snowed laughed when the demonstrator couldn’t get the wyldfyre lit in the windy cold and snow.

But others did find its original purpose valuable and contacted Palydynne to arm their war galley squadrons with the dangerous wyldfyre.

Image from an illuminated manuscript, the Skyl...

Image from an illuminated manuscript, the Skylitzes manuscript in Madrid, showing Greek fire in use against the fleet of the rebel Thomas the Slav (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


The Smash of Things: Year 2 Changes

Castle medieval siege

Castle medieval siege (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Galley at anchor, found in The Story of the Ba...

Galley at anchor, found in The Story of the Barbary Corsairs’ by Stanley Lane-Poole, published in 1890 by G.P. Putnam’s Sons. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Rules revisions will liven things up in Year 2.

There is more opportunity for establishing diplomatic relations with nations farther away.

New random events may appear this year that will bedevil or gratify out harried leaders of Westeroids.

Forts/castles have appeared throughout the land for invading armies to ignore at their peril or worse attack.

Hopefully nations will try out new strategies on land and sea – coastal raids, pillaging raids.

Using the revised National Profile Display should help a lot in keeping track of details.

Hypothetical History Continuance Phase: Catastrophes and Blessings, Wars and Growth (Year 31!)

English: Crystaline Gold

English: Crystaline Gold (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: The Harvest

English: The Harvest (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Betsey, surrounded by seven French co...

English: Betsey, surrounded by seven French corsairs (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In the Game of Cronies campaign, a winter campaign was rolled for and Year 2 is about to begin next spring.

But what would have happened if the campaign had ended?

English: Spire of the abbey on Mont Saint-Mich...

English: Spire of the abbey on Mont Saint-Michel in Normandy France (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Let’s see.

It’s the year 31, thirty years after the present campaign.

Three wars were resolved. Runtly and Robheart’s war ended in stalemate. A truce is in effect for next year. Runtly took firm control of Stinkwood province and added it to his realm.

The Landblaster/Starkcrazy and Night’s Botch/Wildthings conflicts ended similarly but with no change in territory.

House Cartell won a war against pirates and has increased its fleet size.

A pretender has appeared in Mormeen province to claim the Dimheiress Tarfeathere’s thorne. It’s civil war!

Houses Hyfell, Boltloose and Sully got bountiful resources.

House Arhead had good harvests. On the other hand, the Wildthings and Stainless Brightneon experienced shortages. House Greyboy suffered a drought.

House Landblaster discovered a gold mine within its borders.

Runtly Brightneon had a mundane period.

Eight former trade sites and one town have grown into cities. (to be continued)

Winter Campaign (Winter, Year 1)

A trebuchet uses the gravitational potential e...

A trebuchet uses the gravitational potential energy of the counterweight to throw projectiles over long distances. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Crossbowmen at the Martyrdom of St Sebastian. ...

Crossbowmen at the Martyrdom of St Sebastian. Detail of a painting from Upper Bavaria (Munich?), around 1475. Current location: Wallraf-Richartz-Museum, Cologne, Germany (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A winter horrorland story by Porridge Marten, the chronicler of the Game of Cronies

This image was first published in the 1 st (18...

This image was first published in the 1 st (1876–1899), 2 nd (1904–1926) or 3 rd (1923–1937) edition of Nordisk familjebok. The copyrights for that book have expired and this image is in the public domain. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Winter is supposed to be relaxing –wine, women, and song – or so thought King Robheart Brightneon snug in his bed that early morning when the first trebuchets of the Wormlanders fired upon and rattled the walls of Binge Landing. To his surprise and everyone else in the besieged city, an assault in the dead of winter was the last thing that was expected. Runtly Brightneon and Brie the Tart led the attack; siege engines fired, and twenty army units attacked Robheart’s four foot units and one unit of dismounted crossbowmen. The Kingsmen were outnumbered four to one. Both sides were evenly matched in magic users at four each.

 “Now what!” yelled out the discomforted King. “I hope Slimey doesn’t have a hangover from last night’s feast, the drunken fool. Signal his fleet to draw near shore and bombard Runtly’s attackers.”

 Ser Embarristan Slimey, unsteady though he be, brought his three war galley squadrons close to shore and showered Runtly’s beleagured troops with arrows.

 “Let’s hope Binge Landing’s walls won’t crumble today,” he roared to his page. The page struggled to get armor strapped over his lord’s expanding stomach.

 It was a tough battle for both sides, yet once again, the besieged repulsed the host from the Wormlands. Robheart lost a unit, but his brother, Runtly, had twice as many losses. Runtly continued his failures on land as his forces had at sea thoughout the year.

 Robheart laughed heartedly, “Bring me some wine. I have a great thirst to quench”

A War Ends: The Frayd Realm is Dismembered (Fall, Year 1)

Due to the decrepid nature of the old man, Weirdo Frayd painfully bent his knee in submission to Talon Greyboy and his ally Adorunrun Cartell of Darne. With the abdication, the war was over.

English: The death of Arthur

English: The death of Arthur (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The land of the Frayds became a dominion of the Greyboys, actually only Chicken Neck province with the Twinge; the Darneans were given Seascard province as a reward for their alliance and support in the crushing of the Frayds at Greenslime Fork. Only the lone garrison of Seascard Castle held out against the invaders. It was only a matter of time before it fell too.

What to do with Weirdo? Talon Greyboy would be denied an execution because the Lord of the Cursing slipped away that night from the Twinge and sought safety with his ally, Bedmore Sully. Weirdo Frayd would be a leader in exile in Riverfun.

Talon Greyboy left this son, Peeon as governor of the Chicken Neck with a garrison; he was pleased he had gotten his wretched offspring out of his hair for a while. But who knew what mischief Peeon Greyboy would get into. At least the Chicken Neck had Darnean Seascard as a buffer between it and the exiled Frayds in the Quiverlands of Sully.

A Ramble into Rottten Tooth

Worried words from Porridge Marten, the chronicler of the Game of Cronies

The Starkcrazys were able to out-march the Landblasters and entered Rotten Tooth province before Lord Hywind was able to burst into blitzerwolf lands.

English: A wolf. Español: Un lobo.

English: A wolf. Español: Un lobo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hywind berated his son Jammy for the lackadisaical manner in which the troops marched north. The Lord of Bastardly Rock admonished his eldest son, ”If only your vanguard’s feet could match the speed of your mouth.”

“You shouldn’t be in such a rush to get the rest of us killed, ‘ humored Jammy the Zingsayer.

The banner of the ‘Crazys, “Winterhell is freezing over!” was held by one of Ser Dullard’s horsemen.

A worried Rubb Starkcrazy with his blitzerwolf, “Pass Wind,” jaws clamped on his master’s wrist advised his father that the Landblasters would surely be aware of their sudden rush into the Sleepy Lion’s lair. “Their scouts must have reported our whereabouts already. I can hear the Landblaster lion rustling in the brush.”

“Rubb, you’re my son, but let’s face it you’re no fun. I know these Landblasters. I know them. I’ve fought them. I’ve beaten them. Rubb, you’ll rub their faces into the very soil we stand on,” Ser Dullard pompously foretold, the old fool that he was.

Joyfully the Starkcrazy troops stomped into Landblaster fields. They sang their favorite marching song, “Who let the wolves out?”

Attack on Beastwatch (Fall, Year 1)


《清实录》中所绘宁远之战 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Johnny Snowed kept his two magic users in Castle Bleak but divided his army into three parts to man the Tall Wall to the north in Shadowtower province, in Castle Bleak where he stood on guard, and at Beastwatch to the south. The Wildthings massed against the Beastwatch section of the tall Wall.

Rancid Ryder brought up his siege engines against the Tall Wall, but this time he attacked its southern end, the Beastwatch. Beyond lay the un-mined gold lode in the province, a real prize for the Wildthings.

In the ensuing conflict, the siege engines were set ablaze and destroyed. The King Beyond the Tall Wall was unable to rally his troops for an assault. Rance decided it was fruitless to sit in siege works below the Wall; his army ended the siege and returned once again to the forests.